About 'vita vitamins'|Review: SKIN&LAB - Vitamin C plus Brightening Cream
You can't throw a cat these days without hitting a health store. I'm all for trying to make a buck, but does anyone but me feel as though some of the stuff they sell is a little over the top? I strolled in a natural foods and supplemental vitamin store a while ago just to escape the teeny-bopper crowd at the mall. Feeling a little self-conscious by just standing there, I began to browse through the aisles and aisles of products. I thought I'd better buy something so I searched for a little bottle of vitamin C. Pretty simple, huh? I will say at least I wasn't attacked by a bug-eyed, frothing store clerk eager to assist me in any way. I don't like that technique, and usually ask them to go stand in a corner until I need them. I found the vitamin aisle (well, I should say aisles) and scanned the shelves. Is it me or have we come up with a whole bunch of new vitamins? I remember learning about them in school, but didn't they stop at K? I swear I saw a whole new frontier of stuff that it looks like I should be taking just to stay alive. After locating the shelves holding the "C Group", I called my pal over for some advice. He had been lurking about twenty feet from me and seemed happy that I needed his assistance. He screamed up to me like the Road Runner without the "beep beep", and asked how he could help me. I said I just wanted a small bottle of vitamin C. He told me I had made a smart choice for a starter. Huh? I stupidly asked what he meant by a starter. You would have thought I had just handed him the keys to the kingdom. He absolutely glowed. He proceeded to explain to me about beginning a vitamin regimen which would be beneficial to my good health and well-being. He could offer me what he called a "Vita-Pak" which targeted women of my age and would supplement my diet. This kid hadn't been talking more than a few minutes and already he had two strikes against him. I suggested that unless he had a death wish he might consider removing two phrases from his sales pitch, women of my age, and diet. After spewing a few platitudes and making things worse by calling me "Madam" (I really wanted to run with that one), I said "Just find me the vitamin C, sonny". Then I cackled a little. I can do a pretty good Margaret Hamilton. The kid hands me a small box of vitamin C. I immediately turn it over and look at the price. Holy crap! $6.99? SEVEN BUCKS? I looked at the kid who seemed just as astonished as I was and asked him if I could borrow five bucks. The poor kid giggled nervously and suggested "we" look for something on sale. I said never mind, I'd go across the way and get a glass of orange juice. He said that orange juice was good, but not a continuous source, and I would need more tomorrow. I said I'd take my chances. I began wondering how I could possibly still be alive, not knowing of all these things good for me and bad for me. I decided I must be walking a fine line between life and death. I'd have to investigate these natural food stores a little more. It was while I was strolling past Radio Shack that I started to feel better about my obviously inadequate health program. The guy on TV was saying some poor sucker died of "natural causes". To read more from this sicko please click here |
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